What Does the Bible *Really* Say?

In the recent days, I have had several conversations with people about what the Bible has to say, and many people have been taught the wrong thing in church, by friends and family, etc.  so I felt like I should give as clear and concise of a message in my own words as to what the Bible says. Yes, I know - this has NOTHING to do with baseball cards or writing. It is *far more important* - as a matter of fact, it is the most important subject I can and will ever write on. So, I'm curious -